i do not know what to write, but i feel like typing just anything that comes to mind. feel so sad, do not even know why exactly. i feel so down at the moment, i need help. i had a sort of rough day with water fetching, but i do not fink it guarantees me to feel dis bad tonight. i had a weird dream today as i woke up i wondered to myself why the heck that dream, i was not even thinking of her before going to bed. could there be that much envy, jealousy and hatred within me. i refuse that so much to speak. as i started typing i feel a bit better than before. i am finking maybe can writing be my calling? haha, just maybe it could be though so you just do not laugh just yet. i am a queen, at least that is what i am listening to now, he said i am royal, owww! aint that so sweet. made a terrible mistake some few months ago, apparently it is not all wrongs that can be made right, because from experience i know mine did not. maybe it could have, but i guess i was to blind to notice that hitch there, i that could probably be because i do not read minds. did he actually think i would be able to just read his mind and connect my readings to his feelings or what? like really those things just are not real , there are just some sort of fallacies we so tightly believe in. how i wish he could just send me a message or something so i know there is still some little hope, just for friendship. hmmmmmm111 but i guess that so can not happen. i am so out of it, to be thinking that , i have a lot to do this semester,i would usually think of drawing a to-do-list like in movies, then again i doubt if i will be able to use it oo. just doubt. either ways i am going to try that out this semester, i need i new start for anew semester and a new year, to give me an advancement in my new life. i feel okay now, like i was not even down a few minutes ago. i think i need to be doing this as often as possible, because it actually helps, or should i say helped me out. PEACE, I am out.